The Challenges
by a walking contradiction
Summary: My idea of a funny joke done in the Gundam Wing style. One night, Duo went to a bar and agreed to do three challenges for the prize.


This is my first fic. My idea of a funny joke done in the Gundam Wing style. Hope you'll enjoy the story as much as I did writing it! *snickers*

This fic is dedicated to my evil friend Kate Jaclynn Lim, who's escaping this hellhole-of-a-country and leaving us, her poor friends, behind. 

^_^;  ( hehehe… )

. .

The Challenges 

There was a young man named Duo Maxwell who went to a bar one night. Since he already finished his job and still had some time before he deemed it the 'right time' for him to sleep, he drove to the nearest bar and entered its glass doors. Inside, the bar was filled with its usual crowd.

"Hey, Duo! Nice of you to drop by!" the bartender, Howard, greeted him while serving drinks to a blond and a brunette. Duo immediately recognized them as his friends Quatre and Trowa.

"Hey, Howie! Oi, Q! Trowa!" Duo waved his arms vigorously, grinning widely. He half ran toward his friends.

"Good evening, Duo," Quatre Winner said, smiling softly at his braided friend. The blond sat perched on a stool, his glass of white wine held elegantly in his hand. His companion, Trowa Barton, gave a minute smile at the violet-eyed young man. "Hey, Duo."

Duo inclined his head, and then looked at both his sides. "By the way, where are Heero and Wufei?"

Quatre waved an arm on Howard's direction. "Heero and Wufei both tried The Challenges," he informed Duo, chuckling amusedly. Trowa coughed to cover his laugh.

"The Challenges?" Duo looked at the bartender, who nodded his head happily. "What're these Challenges all about, Howie?" he asked, intrigued at something that so amused his friends.

"Well, there are three challenges, and whoever completes those challenges can have any drink that he wants—for free—for the whole year."

Duo's eyes widened. "WOW! I wanna try, too!"

Quatre actually smirked. "Think twice, Duo. You haven't heard the challenges yet. Besides, even Heero and Wufei are having problems completing the first stunt." He nodded and pointed to one corner of the room, where the pair of very drunk Chang Wufei and Heero Yuy were sleeping soundly. 

Duo frowned. "So, what're the challenges?"

Howard grinned. "For the first challenge, you have to drink one barrel of very strong rum."

Duo grinned arrogantly. "Heh? So that's what knocked them both out!" He snickered. "That's easy. What's the second?"

"The contestant has to do something about the crocodile with the toothache at the backroom," Howard said, pointing to the door of the room.

Duo seemed to consider this and nodded. "Fair enough. And then?"

"And then for the third challenge… you have to do _something_ to the woman downstairs who hasn't had an orgasm for a VERY long time."

Duo stilled for a moment, utterly dumbfounded. 

Trowa grinned. "What? Think you can handle that?" he asked with an evil glint in his eyes.

Quatre peered worriedly at Duo. "You know, if you don't think you can do it…" he trailed off. 

Duo huffed, annoyed. "Of course I can do it! This is gonna be easy!" He grinned. "Hey Howie, I wanna join!"

. . .

An hour later, Duo was almost finished with the barrel. 

"Duo, are you sure you're ok?" Quatre asked anxiously, peering at his flushed friend.

"Of course I'm—hick—ok!" Duo raised his glass. "Lookie! One more glass—hick—and I'm through with—hick—the first chal—hick—lenge!" He drank the whole contents of the glass in one gulp.

"TADAAA! Now where's the next room?"

Howard gestured to the backroom. "The croc's inside. Do your thing, Duo!"

Duo proceeded to the backroom while swaying. "Hey, guys! Wish me lu~uck!" And he opened the door and went inside.

The people in the bar waited. A minute of silence ruled, one that stretched into ten minutes, and then fifteen…

"I'm getting MORE worried!" Quatre murmured, frowning at the door.

Then suddenly, the occupants of the bar heard an inhuman, screeching sound that could only be from the demon himself. The awful, deafening sound continued for some time—with the people flinching at every loud cry—and then it stopped as abruptly as it started.

The patrons looked expectantly at the closed door of the backroom, which opened slowly to reveal a grinning Duo.

"Glad that's done. Now where's the woman with the aching tooth?"

* * *

Heard it already? Good for you!

It's sick, I know… 

*grins widely*


End file.
